Suicidality in Women: What We Don't Talk About Enough (and Why Healing Is Possible)

Written by the Emerge Treatment Team.

I want to discuss something that women often don't openly discuss: suicidality. Even reading that word may have made your chest constrict. For most of us, suicide is the taboo of all taboos. It's the subject we push aside, drown out with busyness, or only whisper about in late-night conversations with a close friend.

But here's the truth: so many women struggle silently with suicidal thoughts. Maybe it’s not every day, maybe it comes and goes, or maybe it shows up in the form of wondering, "Would anyone notice if I weren't here?" These thoughts don't make you defective or weak. They make you human—and they are very frequently a sign that something down deep hurts and needs nurturing.

At Emerge Treatment, a Salt Lake City women's mental health treatment center, we work with women daily who are struggling with these very thoughts. And one thing I can promise you? Healing is possible.

Why Suicidality Shows Up for So Many Women

We're living in a culture where women are expected to do it all; be the perfect partner, the loyal friend, the successful employee, the involved parent, the one who looks put together while juggling everything. The expectation is draining. And when life isn't exactly the highlight reel we're witnessing on Instagram, the stress of that comparison can be suffocating.

For women, suicidality also isn't what people expect. While men die by suicide at higher rates, women are more likely to attempt suicide and to communicate suicidal thoughts. For most of us, suicidality happens in the context of depression, anxiety, trauma, or relationship stress.

Some of the specific pressures that may lead to these difficulties are:

Perfectionism: Feeling like you can never fail, never quit, never let anyone see your cracks.

Trauma: What occurred in the past—childhood trauma, sexual assault, or violent relationships—can leave wounds that re-emerge when we're under stress.

Isolation: You might be surrounded by people, yet feel deeply isolated with your suffering.

Body image and self-esteem: So many women feel shame about their bodies, which can fan the flames of depression and despair.

Caregiving stress: As a mom, a partner, or the friend who everyone relies on, you may feel you're not permitted to set the burden down.

When all of that builds up, suicidal impulses can make it look like an escape route. But those impulses are actually a warning sign—it's your mind and body crying out for relief, for connection, for healing.

What Suicidality May Present As

If you have ever wondered whether what you are experiencing "counts" as suicidal thoughts, let me assure you of this: if your brain has ever told you that something would be better off without you, that counts. Suicidality does not always look like a plan, either. It sometimes looks like:

Wishing you could disappear.

Feeling as though you are a burden to your friends or family.

Losing interest in the things that used to make you sparkle.

Sleeping all the time, or not at all.

Avoiding social interactions because you can't fake being "okay."

Using alcohol, drugs, or work to numb out.

A heavy, almost tangible sense of despair.

It's tempting to dismiss these things as "just stress" or "just burnout." But when they start to feel overwhelming or regular, it's worth paying attention.

Why It's Important To Talk About This

Here's something we don't always admit: lots of women we know have had those thoughts, but few of us talk about them. We're scared that if we do, people will freak out, judge us, or worse, never trust us again.

That silence is dangerous. When we don't talk about suicidality, women are left to carry that burden completely on their own. And when you're alone, it's so much harder to have any hope things will get better.

Breaking that silence—by talking to a therapist, a friend, or even by putting your feelings down on paper in a journal—is often the first step in the healing journey.

Healing Does Not Mean "Fixing" You

One of the biggest myths about mental healthcare is that you need to be "fixed." But at Emerge Treatment, we think differently. You don't need to be fixed—you need connection, support, and tools. Healing means developing the skills to cope with overwhelming emotions, processing old wounds, and learning to take up space in your own life once again.

Some of the ways we help women work through suicidal thoughts and reconnect with hope again include:

Trauma therapy for women: New or old, unfinished trauma can hold us in cycles of hopelessness. Our staff is trained in trauma-informed therapy, so we never push women to discuss things before they're ready, and we compassionately work with what's already showing up.

Depression treatment in Salt Lake City: Depression has a way of making us believe that nothing will ever change. Through therapy, medication management (where needed), and holistic interventions, women can start to feel the weight lift.

Anxiety treatment in Utah: Anxiety often works to make suicidality worse by making everything seem like "too much." We focus on grounding and regulation skills so that women feel more in control of their internal experience.

Group therapy in Salt Lake City: The majority of women are apprehensive about group therapy at first, but almost all of them report later that it was one of the most healing parts of treatment. To hear other women say "me too" can erase shame.

Women's outpatient programs: Our partial-hospitalization and intensive outpatient programs offer women structure, accountability, and community without requiring them to leave work, school, or family completely.

Healing does not happen overnight, but with continued support, women start to experience subtle differences: laughing again, morning energy, making plans for the future. These are testaments that suicidality does not get the final say.

Myths We Need to Let Go Of

There are numerous myths about suicidality that keep women from reaching out for help. Let's debunk a few:

Myth: "If I talk about it, I'll scare people."

Truth: Talking about suicidality gives the possibility of help. Most of the time, people are thankful you trusted them enough to tell them.

Myth: "Other people have it worse. I should just tough it out."

Truth: Suffering is not a competition. Your pain deserves attention even if someone else is suffering too.

Myth: "Therapy won't work for me—I've tried before."

Truth: Recovery is not linear. It is sometimes about discovering the right therapist, program, or approach. Many women come to Emerge saying "nothing else worked," and go on to find transformation here.

What You Can Do If You're Struggling

If you're reading this and thinking, This describes me, I want you to know there are things you can do right now.

Tell someone you trust. Even if it's just, "I'm not okay." You don't need to have all the words.

Reach out for professional help. Whether that's your therapist, primary care doctor, or a program like Emerge, let someone help take on some of the burden.

Write it down. Journaling can get the spiral out of your head and onto paper, where it doesn't feel so overwhelming.

Keep in contact. Isolation feeds suicidality. Even merely talking to a friend can help.

Develop a safety plan. This can be as simple as writing down the crisis line number (988), safe people you can contact, and grounding exercises you can turn to when things become unbearable.

You're Not Alone in This

If you’ve been living with suicidal thoughts, I want to remind you: you’re not the only woman feeling this way, and you don’t have to carry it alone. We witness it daily at Emerge: women who come through the door desperate—and we watch them get a sense of joy back, of their own resilience, and of the world in general.

Healing doesn't mean you'll never have another bad day. It just means you'll have tools, people, and hope to help you make it through the bad days.

If you or someone you love is struggling, know that help is here.

Book a free consultation with Emerge Treatment to discover more about compassionate mental health treatment in Salt Lake City.

And if you're in immediate danger, text or call 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. You are not alone, and your life is worth fighting for.